The different stages of shipping an OTP

When I’m bored, I play the iSuJu game

Basically, I go to SJ’s MVs and mute them, then I watch them while listening to American pop songs.

Sometimes the song and the mv fit so perfectly that I end up peeing myself. You guys should try it.

The most hilarious ELF inside jokes

A 100 years from now, scholars will look back at this genre of music and say, “And here we have the kings of Kpop, Super Junior. Now you see, they had this unique style of dancing in boxes. The concept back then was so bizarre and confusing for many. But now we know it had a unique artistic purpose as pupils tend to focus more on the movements rather than the flashy nonsensical backgrounds that other MVs had during that era. SMent were dicks perhaps. But the band made history.” 

So I just watched break down and I can already tell this is gonna be a good year 8D

My 4 months semi-hiatus

I know what you’re gonna say: Dude, you were never here in the first place!!

Ok so here is the thing. My real life is pretty hectic now. I don’t know if you guys know (or care) but I’m an underaged, third year university student and I major in film making and production. I make movies and go to places to make movies. It’s fun but it sucks the time out of my day.

I tried, and god knows I tired, to make Tumblr a part of my daily routine. But I couldn’t. I probably have like 30 unfinished posts in my drafts that I never got to finish because they are missing pieces that I cannot collect because I don’t have time. I haven’t even fangirled properly in a while. I don’t know anything about GDA or military or even kyumin wine drinking. It’s sad how real life have consumed my free time so much that I don’t have the time to do all this shit anymore. I mean I haven’t read fics in ages and I’m the fairy fic mother!!

And I felt it’s only fair, since I’m getting followers every day and my lovely old ones are patiently waiting for me… I felt it’s only fair that I should tell you that you shouldn’t expect much from me for the next 4 months. I will make posts. Not regularly. Just when I can. But you shouldn’t anticipate or wait for anything. And I’m definitely not leaving my tumblr. This thing was never about the numbers anyways. I will keep this shit for 10 years or you know… as long as the internet exist. I just wanted to tell you that I’d completely understand if you’d unfollow because most of you are here for the posts.

Unless you really don’t give a fuck and are just like whatever, yolo, we are busy with life ourselves, then I welcome you to stay and I shall get back to my lazy chilled back life when I get my vacation from May to September.

Too much details about me. So yeah. Will make posts. Not regularly. I love you. I’m just being realistic and honest. And yeah… love you. And have a Happy New Year.  

I have accesses to my account again!!!

I know most of you guys aren’t aware of this… but I haven’t been able to accesses my account for 4 days or so. I was freaking the fuck out. Thought I’d never see it again. But thank goodness I figured this shit out.

That moment when your OTP is too real, you’re angry at them

I fucking hate you, you fuckers. You just fucked up my life with your realness!!!

Kpop Fanficion ratings guide

Me at School

This is how I look like everyday

That’s my ride to school

This is my crush

This is me with my crush

This is how I say hi to my homies

This is how I walk down the hallway

And that’s how I sit in class

This is how I intimidate my haters

This is me in the Cafeteria

And the library

Me during school events 

And this is a more accurate representation of what I actually look like to people in school

Suju's current living arrangements

The awkward moment when your husband is too drunk he calls you “baby girl” on international radio

Imagine if fangirling was in reverse

Kpop stans, maybe we need to grow up

Of course you’re wondering.. WTF zica, you’re the most immature person we know, why the hell are you talking about this? 

True that. I admit. I’m immature sometimes, naive, bitchy and all of those bad things… but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and observing my behavior and others and I have reached the conclusion that this is not fun anymore. This fandom. This whole thing we call Kpop. And I don’t want this to end like how it usually does: People leave because they lost interest. I want to talk about it. I want a closure. 

Firstly: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SO MUCH HATE GOING ON??!

When I first fell in love with this fandom, before I was even a part of the internet, I was this 17 year old teenager who liked Heechul and thought SJ were really funny. Then my sister told me, “hey, why don’t you get a twitter (my old twitter) and talk to other ELF?”

Best and worst decision I’ve ever made in my whole fucking life.

I used to think that if I see a kpop fan on the street I’ll just jump around like a crazy bitch, hug her and ask her to be my BFF for life.

Now, there are so many shits that I care about and others care about. What fandom are you a part of? Who do you hate? What OTP are you into? What’s your blog about? What opinions do you have on things? 

All of that shit did not matter before. I used to like to talk to people who at least knew what I was talking about. Maybe the honeymoon phase is over, but damn it felt good. Yes, maybe at that point in life I didn’t have lots of friends and followers or notes or people who come and tell me happy birthday.. but I was happy too.

Then I started to learn how to hate because I started to feel like I needed to defend myself and my point of view in order for me to stay here. My sister actually initially tried to raise me into liking a pairing that is now one of the things I strongly dislike. She tried to force me into it, I resisted and conflict occurred.

When I first went on Tumblr, I was a nobody. I’m not saying that I’m a somebody now, but let’s just say that only like two people acknowledged my existence. I used to look up at people who made those really nice posts and was like, “one day I wanna be like them.. I wanna be a part of this.” Funny thing is, 50% of those people are now my enemies.

I know my followers like me, otherwise they wouldn’t follow me.. either because they like my bitchy, yet weird, yet friendly persona or because they like my posts… and I know that a shit load of people are dedicating their online lives to hate me and call me a monster and wish that I was never born and all that crap… yes, I read and laugh at you sometimes

But here is my question, why are we all doing this? why are we creating all those sub groups of “I like her,” “no I don’t,” “She is so funny,” “she’s so mean,” “my OTP is real,” “No my OTP is!”

Before, I’d have probably given you so many reasons as to why we’re doing this. But now I can’t find any. Why can’t I be happy with my ship and enjoy life without having to hate on other ships and be hated for my ship? 

Why do I have to listen to bitches crap in my inbox things that are so stupid, things that only butthurt people will say… why do I have to hear about how I ruined your life? Why do I have to ruin your life?

I just feel like there is no point in disliking and hating and making fun of others and fighting over things… because this shit doesn’t really matter… shouldn’t matter. There is much to life than what we’re doing here. I used to go on the internet to escape real life. But now, I don’t even feel like going online because I don’t want to deal with the whole drama and the nagging. 

Yes, I can and I am ignoring haters and living for those who like me… but I still just feel all that negative energy surrounding me and surrounding everybody else. Every time I ask my friend, “why are you pissed?” she’d be like “this bitch hated on kyumin.” I mean wasn’t Kyumin (our ship) the thing that made us happy, why does it have to bring us so much pain then?

So yeah. I hope that things will change. That we can all coexist with our differences and not base our love of things on hating on others. I fear that I’m going to end up resenting this fandom. That I’ll just call it quits and decide to be a silent fanfic reader and that is all that I will do for the next 10 years. Because I mean, look at us, we’re creating so much bad memories that one day it will overtake all the good shit we’ve shared.

From now on, I’m gonna be happy about life. Steal my work, bash my OTP, call me a bitch, I don’t care. I will choose to be happy. I will choose not to hate you because you shouldn’t be significant to me, only my friends should be. And I’ll just wait for us all to grow up.